Friday, September 12, 2008

Letter to the Editor

I have been getting alot of traffic to my blog since I was a "Blog of Note", and have received alot of interesting and positive feedback. I read this comment my blog the other day:



"Don't concentrate too much on the wedding day but concentrate more on the rest of your lives. There is so much that is said in the bible about man and wife, I did not see any quotes biblical on your blog. The only way for a marriage to survive is with Jesus at the head because it is very hard to try and love someone unconditionally when we as humans are so stuck on yourselves. I wish you Godspeed on your marital journey."



When I first read this is was really offended. This fellow blogger, who would not allow me to access their blog to respond back to them personally so I am responding here. This person does not know me or my religious beliefs. My blog is a blog about my wedding planning process and not about my marriage. I may talk about my marriage once I am married. I am not saying if I agree or disagree with the comment, but this person just assumes that I believe in God, which I do believe in Jesus Christ. What if I were a Buddhist or Muslim? I have purposely not added alot about religion or my religious beliefs, because there are many different types of people that read my blog and did not want to offend any of them. My blog is meant to be light hearted and fun. The fun stuff for me is talking about all the pretty things that take place in a wedding and finding wedding inspiration to share with other brides. I feel that it is really personal to talk about how my fiance' and I are going to handle our marriage. We are not even married yet nor have had counseling with my pastor. I am not in la, la land and I know that marriage takes work. My fiance and I both know that our marriage will need to be strong spiritually, emotionally and physically for both of us to be happy.



I think that I am going to take the advice that was given to me when a fellow blogger read this message:



"I don't know what religion you are, and j*********? might have good intentions, but your marriage is between you and your husband. Not some other person.Best Wishes."



31 comments:

Blablover5 said...

It's just easier to ignore those who think they know what everyone should think and do at all times.

The monday morning quarterbacks as it were.

Katie Killary said...

you have a great concept. please continue to share and don't be the least bit discouraged!!
:o)

luzzy said...

Hey! I love your write up, I know its not easy. Keep it up.
You can check out my own blog http://hopecounty.blogspot.com

Cori Beth said...

Very well said. I love reading your blog and you have inspired me to start my own blog about my wedding planning. I would say "don't let people like that discourage you or ruin your day", but I can tell that you already live by that concept. Keep up the good work!

JenPen said...

I love your Blog!! My hubby and I will be celebrating our 2 yr anniversary the end of this month and I SO remember running in 3 billion different directions trying to get everything perfect! Good luck and best wishes...you can check me out at http://jennifer-pennington.blogspot.com/

J.S. said...

I think the joys of having a public blog is being able to hear from and touch so many people.

The downside seems to be that some people are going to step outside the simple reading and enjoying and jump right into judging.

I think that you handled it beautifully. I can only hope that I would have as much grace if/when I am ever subjected to that kind of judging.

Best of luck to you!

Cindy B said...

I have been happily married for 42 years. The best advice was given to me, along with the elderly lady's recipie for peach keuchen"...was keep communication open, respect for each others feelings and thoughts, and above all, never go to bed at night angry...and carry a big rolling pin"..ha ha If you knew this tiny little lady with the family of 8 kids...you would have a good chuckle..what a dear.I am happy to say, never had to use the rolling pin and love my husband more today than the day we married....best wishes!!.Congratulations on your noteworthy blog!

Entropy said...

I sometimes wonder about the religious nuts. When they come to my door, I hear them out and poke holes in what they say. I don't mind, because they have invaded my yard and tried to command me as to what I should do with my life.

I don't have a problem with a god, if there does happen to be one, but it's his fan club that I have a problem with.

=)

Michael Lockridge said...

Your visitor seemed to be well intentioned, but a bit lacking in tact. That is unfortunate.

Congratulations on the "Blog of Note." It is nicely done, and you seem to be enjoying your wedding over a nice long span of time. How wonderful for you! Kind of you to share. You will have a delightful record on which you can look back.

Good luck, and keep blogging!

Anonymous said...

I'm here to tell you that comment is bull$@#*!!! My husband & I have been happily married for years... without reciting any biblical quotes to each other.

In fact, I find your quote more insightful, "My fiance and I both know that our marriage will need to be strong spiritually, emotionally and physically for both of us to be happy."

Small-minded people think that they have all the answers, but no body has all the answers... not even the bible. Marriages that are successful are so because the *two* people in the relationship are committed to making it work. It sounds to me like your marriage is going to be highly successful!!!

Enjoy the journey together!!!!

TheKrystalRose said...

Your blog site is beautiful. It is a wonderful time in your and life, and I think it's cool you wanted to share it. Ignore any negativity. Some people are just not happy and like to try and bring others down to there level.

Dana said...

First time here, and I must say, sorry you got such a rude comment. I don't talk about religion on my blog, and although I read many blogs that do, they have no bearing about how I feel towards the blogger. Some people like to keep their religion to themselves and others should respect that. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all, especially if you are too chicken to allow that person to respond.

A PROPHET OF GOD said...

People get offended by religion because they don't want to be told what to do. This stems from a spirit of pride; not wanting to submitt to God or anyone else's authority. To the degree we come under authority is to the degree we will receive authority. Through submitting to one another we learn to be meek and humble. This is the only way we become above reproach.

ColdSphere said...

Hello i'm from malaysia...
I don't understand what it doing for...
Or just a region lifestyle?????

lalitha said...

This is the good post. I think this is the good concept. This is very useful blog.
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Sukhjit
Get A Car License Today!

Megan said...

You are so right about your relationship being between you and your man. A public blog is no place for it! I love your tact for dealing with that comment, and your obvious wisdom!

Kelliann said...

I think you may have taken the comment as a personal attack rather than a well-intentioned observation.

While the road to hell is paved with good intentions, this commenter intended no harm.

The beauty of a public blog is that you should be open to sharing AND receiving commentary on the subject at hand.

http://blog.kmelanie.com.

William Wren said...

i think this is fantastic

Constructive Attitude said...

Congrats on the upcoming nuptials! Wish you all the best :)

Sprtstuffblog said...

That is good advice to not focus too much on the wedding day. It's a big day, but in retrospect, not as important as the rest of your life together. I think sometimes brides tend to obsess on this one day much too much. Sportstuffblog
P.S. Congratulations Jumping on your Blogs of Note mention. Nice Blog. Unique Topic! Keep up the good work, Dave

veggy said...

wow haha that comment was rude. but then again i dont think people who are so into their own religion, think about what religion some other people are- they assume- others believe in what they do. either way...

i hope the best to you and your to be husband.

make your wedding a day to remember :)

-Heidi

XBITS AND PIECES said...

I read this and am touched. Things change, others never change. am actually emotional reading this. well, what we have to go through to spend the rest of our lives with that person that really cares!!!

Velu said...

You are very right. Keep it light and have a good time. Wish you the best in your life.

Cheers,
Velu

godsbluesman said...

I'm a Christian, and agree that a marriage is about more than the wedding plans and living in la-la land, as you aptly put it, but your critic was obviously missing the point of a fun, informative blog page. Planning the wedding is indeed part of the marriage, and can be lots of fun to do as a couple. My lovely wife Stacey and I planned ours together, and look back on that time with affection. How lovely it is that you thought to make a record of it on this blog. God bless you both.

Joel aka SeaWitch said...

There is NO JUDGMENT in my comment here. The term "Jumping The Broom" is deeply rooted in witchcraft and really is not as much about marriage as it is about fertility and the growing of crops. The term "Tie The Knot," also of pagan origin, is all about marriage or the wedding. Jumping the broom was, and still is, a ritual done at weddings to increase the fertility of the couple whom just tied the knot. So, with this said, I'll make a wild guess there are some who think their way is the only way and will not restrain themselves from preaching. I was attracted to your blog because of the name and I thought it may be about the craft. Others may think it is also and want to "save you from your sins." I myself wanted to participate in the "sins." So, being a male, a father who just watched his daughter and wife plan a wedding, I will part from here. I can only take so much! LOL! Have a very nice wedding. It is a special time and hopefully you will only have one.

blessed be
merry meet and merry part until we meet again

b luis grey said...

Religion shouldn't make us judgmental but more in tune with creation and the world around us.
I don't think your rude commenter is speaking from a centered life in God. As water to the duck's back let foolish talk roll off your back. Happy wedding ceremony!

Calisa Hildebrand said...

Dude. What that reader said is sooo not ok! I guess that could be the downside of being famous on "blogs of note." But minus that, congratulations! I found you as a result of blogs of note and am really impressed. Love the writing and will enjoy following your blog for sure. Forget lame-o religious lady who feels the need to force her beliefs on other people who she doesn't even know. Again, I say lame!

You, however, seem not to be lame in an way, shape or form, so right on! Keep it up :)

athi said...

gud one!! :P

Gina said...

I think you mistook the comment. Reading it, I heard a well-meaning person that wishes you a good marriage. However, I do agree that planning a wedding is fun and you should be able to enjoy the process. I'll still encourage you to let any offence you took to roll off your shoulders.

mobilemarket said...

Hey it's your wedding and forget everyone else. Make it a memorable as possible!

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